Operation Incatnito

Suspect: Sammy.   Operations attempted: Two.   Operations succeeded: Zero.   Status: CLOSED ✅

Let me tell you about the time I attempted the perfect undercover operation. Code name: Incatnito. 😸

The mission was simple. Slip behind the shower curtain. Remain completely undetected. Wait.

I had done my reconnaissance. I knew the bathroom layout. I knew the curtain coverage. I had planned for everything.

I ran the operation twice. The results were not ideal. I have filed both incident reports below for the official record.

I had positioned myself perfectly behind the shower curtain. The ambush was set. The element of surprise was mine.

And then my human walked in.

“Kitty?”

I remained perfectly still. I am a master of disguise. I am invisible. I am—

My tail was sticking out the entire time.

“Whatchu doin’?”

The curtain was pulled back. Operation Incatnito #1 was officially compromised. 😹

“Hey, you just hanging out?”

Yes. That’s exactly what I was doing. Just hanging out. Definitely not an elaborate ambush. Nothing to see here. 😸

Operational failure: tail visible from entry. The tail has been noted as an ongoing liability.

I reviewed the intelligence from Operation #1. I identified the weakness. I developed a revised strategy.

This time, I would get all the way in. Full concealment. Tail included. The curtain would provide complete coverage. The ambush would be flawless.

The entry was the problem.

I may have made some noise pulling on the curtain during the approach. A minor operational detail. The kind of sound that, under normal circumstances, would go completely unnoticed.

My human heard it immediately.

The curtain was pulled back before the ambush could be executed. I was discovered between the curtains, fully in position, eyes wide, completely prepared for an operation that was no longer viable. 😹

The look on my face at that moment has been described as “guilty.” I dispute this characterization. I was simply surprised by the interruption. 😸

Operational failure: noise during entry. The plan itself was flawless. I want that on the record.

Operation #1: compromised by tail. Operation #2: compromised by curtain noise during entry. The plans themselves were flawless. The execution requires further refinement. Mission success rate: 0%. Dignity: intact (barely). Further operations: pending.

Case status: CLOSED. The shower curtain remains a person of interest. 😹🔍🐾

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